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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Member Anya LuFemale/Russia Group :iconread-for-read: Read-For-Read
 
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KoshkaAlisa
Anya Lu
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
Russia

About Me

Hello,

my name is KoshkaAlisa. which means Alice Cat.

I like to procrastinate, read, write, draw, imagine stuff, listen to music, and play with my evil cat.

I love: books, anime, manga, cats, computers, music, the internet, and randomness

I hate: bugs, slow computers, bugs, homework, bugs, stupid people, bugs, boredom, and bugs.

Favourite Books: almost all by Tamora Pierce, almost all by Terry Pratchett, Warriors, the PJatO series, HarryPotter, A song of Fire and Ice, Keys to the Kingdom, the Watch books, Varkak Paw, Artemis Fowl, Wuthering Heights, the Sight and Fell, thne Inheritence Cycle, etc.. (can you tell I am a book geek?)

Favourite Bands/ Singers: Big Bang, 2NE1, Super Junior, Three Days Grace, Vocaloid, Epica, t.A.Tu, Within Temptation, Lunatica, Lyriel, Cascada, Taeyang, 2pm, and Xandria

Also I would love if you leave a comment, or message me, I love talking to people, even though I can be shy :D
Interests
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: Kino
  • Reading: Snow Crash
  • Watching: Doctor Who
  • Playing: Civilization 5
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: Tea
Serious question.
It is like none of you here are on here any more.
What happened?
Is there another site?
or what?
It is so lonely here...
I know I have been neglectful to dA as well, but there was some things that I liked about this site: most people I knew were usually on here..
But now you are not...
Which is understandable, but makes me sad.

So, I guess if no one is going to read this anyway, I may as well include a mini rant:
My rant, is short, and is related to everything this journal is about.
These past two years since I have been the worst years of my life. I never felt so.. isolated before.
Even the people I talk to at school, it is just not the same.
They are not like you guys, they are different, so obsessed with the stupidest of things, thinking they have their life planned out so well. I wonder sometimes, if they have ever been outside their "safety" bubble?
Their idea of  life is so.. perfect.. so ideal.. I just wonder if maybe in some ways, they are correct? Maybe I am too much of a pessimist? maybe everything is better than I think it is?
Or maybe it is not. Life is cruel that way.
I feel so useless, so hopeless, so alone. I just...
I don't care any more.
and most of all, i miss you, my friends. And yet, I am afraid of reconciling drifting apart friendships, because I don't feel like.. any one misses me. I don't see why anyone would, I am such a negative person.. 
I am not saying any of this for attention.
Attention whoring and other types of baseless judgements made to make oneself feel better about oneself are despicable.
You have no right, none, to judge why someone says/ does things the way they do. and I am just not talking about calling people "attention whores", I am talking about everything.

I am sorry that I am such a disappointment. I do not have anything planned out, I have no idea where I am headed, I can't judge if my, or anyone's, future is bright or bleak.
I just want to rest. I want to be happy. How hard is that? HOW HARD MUST IT BE?
I am trying, I am trying, but I feel hopeless. 
and who the hell cares about anything I have written anyway?
I am tired of being ignored, I would rather be hated, then be invisible.
I want life to be fair.
I want to be happy...
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: Kino
  • Reading: Snow Crash
  • Watching: Doctor Who
  • Playing: Civilization 5
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: Tea
I am just wondering if any of you are still on here. It's so lonely...
:|

I don't know what else to say, and I had a journal planned, but I think i wrote enough depressing things, so I am not going to write it.
Instead I am going to focus on happy stuff...
such as...
:D
:D
:D

Also, civilization 5 is so fun. I get to play in westeros and stuff. fun. happy.
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: nothing
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing
and then it is like nothing ever happened...
and all is back to how it used to be...
All the joy disappeared...
and the gloom arrived as an unwelcome guest...
and once again that question eats away my mind...

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Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconmetoka:
Metoka Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
:iconstalkingplz:
Reply
:iconkoshkaalisa:
KoshkaAlisa Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconinvisibleplz:
Reply
:iconmetoka:
Metoka Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
:XD:
Reply
:iconfauxtales:
Fauxtales Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
SORRY.
I guess I accidentally clicked your icon with out noticing!
You didn't favorite my poem so I'm sorry about that!
Reply
:iconfauxtales:
Fauxtales Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for favoriting my poem, I appreciate it! :la:
Reply
:iconfallingasleeptonight:
FallingAsleepTonight Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012   Writer
Clicked on random deviant and it sent me to you! Just passing by and flipping through other deviant's work, looking for inspiration. I write primarily non-melodramatic free verse poetry, something that I hope even people who aren't lit fanatics can enjoy. Just in case you're interested :)
Reply
:iconunhinged-arrogance:
Unhinged-Arrogance Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012  Student General Artist
Thank you so much for the favorites!
Reply
:icondistrictaliens:
DistrictAliens Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
Thanks so much for the fav
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012  Professional Writer
:iconthankyou1::iconthankyou2:
:iconbigheartplz:
Reply
:iconice-queen-blue:
ice-queen-blue Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the fav :D
Reply
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